I'm...rather frazzled. Still no job. Money is dwindling. We found a new apartment that is loads less expensive and hopefully the management will work with us that we won't have a lot of money...so things might be getting better soon.
The first day of AX was a disaster. We got there way late (because Eddie just HAD to do laundry that morning) and had to wait in line for 3 1/2 hours since we didn't have the money to pre-reg for more than one person. And today since he had to work I decided fuck it, we aren't going. No need to spend half a tank of gas driving to Long Beach just to get two hours in. Soooo Sunday and Monday will have to be the big days. Going to be there? Look for the Princess Serenity cosplayer with the big white wings, assuming it all works out.
What's worst of all is that my self-confidence has taken such a nosedive it's amazing I can distract myself from it. I don't often like to complain here (since I consider my stock page to be more professional than personal), but I am beyond myself. About a week and a half ago I started a prescription treatment for my persistent and unfounded acne (which you can probably see on a lot of my photos and has always been a huge drain on my confidence), in hopes that by the time AX came around I could have smooth skin for once in my life. Well, that idea bombed dramatically. The stupid crap made me break out so badly I am horrified to wake up in the morning and look in the mirror. But I am keeping up with the treatment in the hopes that things will eventually get better. Eventually. :: Sigh::
In yet other news, because I am so close to graduating school, all of my creativity has fled, leaving me desolate. No longer can I sit and draw just for fun, after three and a half years of enduring constant beatdowns and attempts to brainwash me into conformity, I have to say I am starting to either buckle under the pressure or go homicidal. I just hope someday after all this foolishness is behind me I can pause and recapture my love for pencil, paper and Photoshop.
I guess, I am trying to pursue modeling or acting now. Can you believe that? What am I thinking?
In any case, if anyone knows any photographers in the San Diego/LA area (or if one of you, my dear watchers, is one), please contact me. I do not do nudes (yes I have a few in my gallery but those were special circumstances with people I knew very well, and you will notice there are no naughty bits showing). Modeling seems fairly plentiful, but I am having trouble finding acting gigs. So keep me in mind if you are in Southern Cali...I am willing to travel a bit, as well. If anyone has any advice let me know...and give me moneeeyyyy. xD
- PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO WHETHER OR NOT SOMETHING IS STOCK BEFORE YOU TAKE THE TIME TO USE IT. I don't like having to ask someone to take a deviation down, but I do have some of my modeling portfolio on here, please PLEASE do not make the mistake of using them as stock.
If you use my stock please tell me and send me a link so I can look at it.
- You can use it for whatever the hell you want including selling stuff as long as I get credit.
- Don't ask me permission, it'll be fine with me. If you do something with my stock I don't like, you'll know. So far it has not happened.
- Also, please keep in mind that I do stock for purely creative reasons and I ask that you refrain from making any sort of comments about my body, GOOD OR BAD. Tell me I'm useful instead, it's a much bigger compliment to me.
- IF YOU DON'T HAVE SOMETHING NICE TO SAY DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL. I have never made it a habit of going around and trash-talking someone's art and I expect you all to give me the same courtesy. This is not to say I expect nothing but compliments--if you really just hate the pose or my outfit, tell me why and how I can improve. I'm wholly sick of getting comments like 'this sux' with no rhyme or reason. IT'S CALLED CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM PEOPLE. Seems like any asshole with a camera and an idea of what is beautiful and what isn't now thinks he is a photographer and can judge me thusly. I don't know why you're looking at my stock if you don't like it, anyways. I make sure to stay away from types of art on Deviantart I find objectionable. If you say something truly rude to me, I will report you, and you will get banned. /endrant
- I have recently been informed that if I just give mass permission to everyone on my journal to use my stock as prints I do not need to email DA everytime someone wants a print. Therefore, please link back to this journal entry if you would like to make a print. I HEREBY GIVE MY PERMISSION TO ALL DEVIANTART USERS TO MAKE PRINT VERSIONS AND SELL ANYTHING WITH MY STOCK IN IT. There DA, are you happy?</i>
Check out, also, my photographer;